Short version: Nothing prevents stretch marks. The dermatologists say so in writing, and I quote them below. What a thick, fragrance free shea butter does is quieter and real: it keeps a stretching belly from feeling dry, tight and itchy through the night. That is the whole promise, and after thirty years of the other kind of promise, it is enough.

1It quiets the itch for the night, which is the part nobody warned her about

By the third trimester a belly is growing close to an inch a week. The skin over it is dry, tight and pulled from the inside, all day, and worst at night when there is nothing else to think about. My daughter described it as lotion on a balloon: whatever she put on was gone in an hour and the itch was back.

Unrefined shea butter is thick. Thicker than any lotion, thicker than an oil. You take a small piece, warm it between your palms until it goes soft, and smooth it over the belly and the sides before bed. It stays where you put it. It is still there in the morning.

The first night she used it she texted me at 6:41 in the morning. Two words. "I slept."

The drawer I found in September: $197 of half used bottles.

2It is the only one I found that does not promise the impossible

Read the front of any bottle in that aisle. Prevent. Repair. Reduce the appearance of. One said "stretch mark defense," as if her belly were under attack. My daughter had bought four of them, used each for a few weeks, got her marks anyway, and concluded that something was wrong with her.

Nothing was wrong with her. The promise was wrong. The jar I send her now says what it is for, which is dry, tight, itchy skin, and nothing else. There is a kind of relief in a product that does not lie to you, and I watched it land on her face when she read the label.

Twenty minutes in this aisle. I left without buying anything from it.

BONUS · WHAT'S IN THE JAR

What each part does

3It agrees with what the dermatologists actually say

At her twenty eight week appointment my daughter asked what prevents stretch marks. The doctor said, "Moisturize and pray," and then explained that the marks come from how fast the skin stretches and from the skin her mother gave her. I went home and checked, because I am that kind of grandmother.

The American Academy of Dermatology has a page called "Stretch marks: Why they appear and how to get rid of them." It says, word for word: "In studies, neither almond oil, cocoa butter, olive oil, nor vitamin E prevented stretch marks." It says early marks "can be itchy." And it says they "fade with time." The British health service says the same thing in fewer words: many creams claim to prevent or remove stretch marks, "but there's very little evidence these work."

So the aisle is full of bottles promising the deep layer and too thin to help the surface one. The plain jar is built for the surface one, and it is honest about the other.

4It is the gift that is for her, and the two minutes a night her husband can own

At her shower I counted nineteen gifts. A swing, a bouncer, three swaddles, two sound machines. Everything for a person who did not exist yet, and nothing for the woman carrying all of it. The jar was the last thing she opened. The card said, "This one is for you." She cried, and then she laughed at herself for crying over shea butter.

Her husband does the jar now, most nights, after her shower, while she stands at the sink. She says it is the one part of the day the baby is not the subject of. He says it is the first thing anyone has given him to do about the itch.

I order the three jar set. One by her bed, one in her bag for the late afternoon, and one for her sister in law, who is due in March.

Warm it between your palms first. It softens in a few seconds.

5Thirty nights to try it, and she keeps the jar either way

Use it every night for 30 nights from the day it arrives. If her skin does not feel better, she gets her money back in full and keeps the jar. That is the same guarantee this small company has put on everything it sells, and it is the reason I was willing to pay $45 for shea butter the first time.

I want to be honest about what it is not. It will not stop a single mark from forming, and it will not fade the ones she already has. She will get the marks she was going to get. It is a moisturizer, nothing more, for the itch and the tight feeling, and it is the only thing in her bathroom that does what its label says.

One thing I would want someone to say to my daughter: itching that is severe, or on the palms and the soles of the feet, is not a cream problem. That is a phone call to her doctor or midwife, before anything else.

How many weeks until her due date?

Tap a number. We'll count the nights.

See the $45 jar →

What pregnant women say about the itch

Public comments from Reddit, quoted as written. These are pregnant women and mothers talking about the itch and the creams in general, not customers of ours.

You don't need another promise

The marks are genetics and speed, and they fade. The itch is the part you can do something about tonight. A plain jar that stays on until morning, for her and not the baby.

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